They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
