no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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