Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
