Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
