I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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