so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
