Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
