I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
