Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Can I color on your dick again?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
