Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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