So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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