The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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