I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
