I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
