the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
