why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
