so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
