just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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