Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
