U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
