You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
