the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
