In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
