Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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