hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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