So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
