Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
