I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
