Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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