But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
