No awkward lesbian experiences without me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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