What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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