I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
