dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
