And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
