my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
