YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
