Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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