It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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