well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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