My room smells like vodka and shame
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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