I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
