Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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