YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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