The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
