In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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