Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
