It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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