i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
