You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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