Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I am in a vortex of obligation.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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