So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
