thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
