Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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