I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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