I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
